Well, almost my birthday anyways. In just 4 days, I am hitting the quarter-century mark. Normally I’m not the type that uses my birthday as a reason to reflect on my year and evaluate the wisdom and growth that was supposed to have occurred, but it just so happens that there have been some changes in my mentality recently, and I am coincidentally turning another year older, so why not?
About a month ago I decided that I needed to find a creative outlet, that I needed to start eating right and become more active, and that I needed to do both of these things while maintaining my personal and professional life. I wanted to commit to not being complacent and to really pushing myself to feel inspired every day. Obviously since then I have had some days where I completely and utterly failed. There were days where I was grumpy, I half-assed a workout , or I spent more time on social media rather than focusing on my boyfriend. On the flip-side though, when I compare this past month to the one prior, those days were fewer and far between.
For my birthday I decided to try something new and go indoor rock-climbing with a group of friends, something I haven’t done since like, 2nd grade. My idea had been to do something that reminded me of being a kid since this 25th birthdays are somewhat of a milestone. It was supposed to be silly and unexpected, a lighthearted change. Then as the event drew closer, it seemed to be turning out to be quite the opposite. The day of, while I was still at work, I was anxious because about half the guest list couldn’t make it, my boyfriend had an injury from work and wouldn’t be able to participate, and I felt maybe I had chosen an activity that would be more awkward than enjoyable for everyone. I was bracing myself for a disaster.
But when the night came and everyone had arrived, it all melted away. I felt stupid and clumsy at first because I literally forgot every step the instructor taught me on knots and belaying right after she described them to me, but once I got the hang of it I was giggling and swinging down from the top of the wall and feeling strength in my arms and legs that I had never really been proud of before. Every few minutes one of my friends would turn to me and say what a great idea this was, and I would see my boyfriend with his camera out, smiling and having fun taking pictures and videos of everyone. It was the opposite of everything I had been afraid of.
At the end of the night, tired and hungry, my boyfriend and I made a heaping plateful of tater tots, got into bed, and spent the night laughing and snacking until we fell asleep. Waking up today, I am looking at the start of 25 as a great one. I’m doing my best to keep up this blog, I am trying new things, staying active, and my relationship feels stronger than ever. Some days I know I’ll slip and won’t accomplish any of my goals, but for now I am remembering to always stay grateful and always find ways to feel like a little kid reaching the top of a rock wall.